A few years ago, I was introduced to the trend of picking a word for the year and creating an accompanying vision board. I embraced it. It smacked a bit of resolutions and goals, neither of which had worked very well for me in the past, but I thought it couldn't hurt to try a new way. Plus it was kind of a work assignment and therefore mandatory. I'm grateful.
The first year, 2021, my word was Stability. This was the year I exercised regularly and become more physically stable, saved money and improved my credit score to become more financially stable, and continued on my mental health journey to become more emotionally stable. In 2022, building on that stability, my word was Reach. I took steps to go beyond my comfort zone. I reached into my past to discover where my negative thought patterns originated and why I've made the decisions I've made in my life. I reached into my soul and out to my husband and started on a journey of healing our marriage. I reached toward the future by advancing my career and therefore my earning power and cementing our family's plans for a 2023 trip to Norway.
In 2023, it was pretty clear right away what my next word would be: Expand. Keep building on what I've accomplished so far. Expand my world view and my family's bonds by traveling to Norway together. Experience mature growth in all areas: physical, emotional, spiritual. Continue increasing my capacity to earn. Open myself up to possibilities that in the past were hidden behind steel-reinforced doors labeled Fear and Denial and Failure and Unworthiness.
Open myself up to possibilities that in the past were hidden behind steel-reinforced doors labeled Fear and Denial and Failure and Unworthiness.
As you'll see in my vision board, a central component to my expansive goals is writing. I started this blog last July but apparently was not ready to pursue it. I know writing is a discipline. I'm not the most disciplined of people. When I want something, however, I am pretty skilled at figuring out a way to acquire it and then doing it.
I started this blog and named it Gray Is My Favorite because I felt I had something to say about the value of living life in the gray areas, not being afraid to doubt or question, understanding the complexity and ambiguity and imprecision of life. Since July, I have had many thoughts on the subject but have kept them to myself or my inner circle rather than sharing them.
I do not have all the answers. I do not pretend to be something more than I am. Fear that others would think I was pretending (also known as imposter syndrome) has sometimes kept me from sharing. Here's the truth: I do like to process my thoughts by writing them down, and when I have done so in the past (e.g., my blogs and columns for the local newspaper and the now defunct parenting magazine I edited), I have received feedback that makes me feel my words can have a positive impact. My words have the power to heal myself. Maybe they can help someone else. I feel compelled to share them as part of my 2023 journey of expanding.
I will leave you with one of my favorite of many illuminating and edifying quotes by author Glennon Doyle (Carry On, Warrior; Untamed):
"The answer is YES. You should write. Even though everything's already been said beautifully. Even though there's nothing new under the sun. Even so. Because there may be nothing new to say, but if you haven't spoken up yet --- then there is a new VOICE to hear. That's all we have -- our voices. No two are the same. No one sees the world QUITE like you do, and no one else can tell us your story QUITE like you could. You are our only chance to know you. You're it. If you yearn to use your voice and you don't -- we will all suffer for it. Be brave. Be audacious enough to consider that your story is worth telling and your voice is worth hearing. The secret is -- it IS. Your story and your voice are worthy of occupying some space in this world. Take it, Sister. Take your space."